One of those days...

I can recall writing this poem during my vacations when I was in Udupi, Karnataka, the place where my father was born. I was visiting my ancestral home for the third time in my whole life, the last time I went there was when I was 6 years old, so it had been 13 years since I last visited that place. So you can say that I almost didn't know what my culture was or looked like. (I don't think I still know much) Luckily this time I got to witness such a beautiful and dense culture that I am part of. I also got to stay there for a few days, here's when the poem will make sense to you, because despite the pride that I felt after witnessing everything, I couldn't feel any connection. It felt like I belonged there but I didn't want to be there or let's say I felt like a guest in my own home. Hence I wrote this poem while sitting in front of a big field and a lot of coconut trees on the last day of my stay there.

Today is one of those days.

it's hot, I am lying here at some unnamed place

I belong here

But I don't feel my roots.

It's one of those days.

I can feel the breeze but the sun is touching my feet.

The coconut trees are still

But my hair is mixing with the air stroking my body.

It's one of those days.

The time is walking where it should be racing

The dark sky is farther than it seems

I want the stars to arrive like it's only there for me

It's one of those days.

I don't know if I should walk away or sleep tight

I am listening to music instead

To fill this void of nothingness

It's one of those days.

I am surrounded by a beautiful ambience

these trees, that field, sun, the stars, this house, where I belong

But I don't know why they exist here?

It's one of those days.

I can see history in every corner of this house

Then why is it hard?

So hard to see myself?